I really thought of leaving for a short period of time.. but then again, I've decided to stay back. Because the burden to stay is heavier than the desire to leave. I guess sometimes it's not about what you want but what is more important to you. Three years ago, I made the same decision and sometimes when I look back, I wonder if I made the wrong choice? Maybe I should have gone further? But at the same time I know I cannot afford to leave everything behind.

Not an easy path but it's all good :)

Acceptance

I have this ugly side where I will just flee from friendships that are tough to fight for.. and when there are unmet expectations, I will just give up. Or many times, I will build up a selfish wall in my heart just to protect it from getting hurt or offended. It is time to tear down these walls. Because when all these walls started to build up in my heart, there is no place for love :( It is something that I really need to learn - to love and accept others for who they are.. just as how others would love and accept me for who I am. Despite my weaknesses and imperfections, they accept me for who I am and give me time to grow from where I am.

Perhaps, all I need is to give others 

the time to grow to become beautiful swans - 

beautiful man and woman of God who are all 

fearfully and wonderfully made.

Like 'Jonathan & David'

Three years. How time flies wei.. I still remember when we first met, you were sitting right in front of me with your golden-dyed hair. You seriously freaked me out haha and your crazyness is not what ordinary people can comprehend hahaha However, you are one of the most influential person that I've ever met in my life :) 

'Jonathan and David'. That's what she always say to me :)

I'm always thankful to God for her. Thankful to God for this friendship that is God-centered. Always pointing me back to God. I hope to be able to do the same for you, Fong Wan :) let's embrace the remaining days.hahaa

ps: Since I don't have the opportunity to wear specs, I think I'm gonna get myself a fake one! :p

I won't give up

Saw an old couple sitting in front of us yesterday when Tien and I went for dim sum. I was stalking them. haha It's amazing how they can still love and care for each other at an old age.. I guess they really meant it when they said "I do" on their wedding day :) With the ever increasing divorce rate around the world, may we learn from many other couples who chose not to give up when things get tough or rough.

"..for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart."

Happy Birthday, Tham Fong Wan! :)

To my dearest friend, 

my 'husband', 

my sanguine and loud species, 

my sister in Christ and 

my prayer warrior, 

HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :)

It has been a great blessing to have you in my life.

You're one of the greatest gift that I received from God in USM hehee

First Year

I remember us playing monopoly deal in this room during National Conference, shouting and laughing like nobody's business :p and you publicly confessed your love towards Justin back then hahaha so funny!

My first photo with you (only us)! and you made me your 6th wife. What an 'honor'! :p

I will never forget the first time when I met you at Tapak Convo! Sitting right in front of me with your yellow-dyed hair, so scary! With Audrey some more haha

And how you fell down at Michael's station during Theme Talk HAHAHHAHAHA

Second Year

And all of us grew closer after PKA farewell night. It has been a privilege to serve alongside you in this family called PKA :) a place where we also grow in our walk with God as we discover more of ourselves, the people around us and God Himself :)

We may come from different states..but in a way, we actually share the same 'background' hehe thank you for being able to relate to me..and encouraging me along the way :)

Third Year

Thank you for doing crazy things with me :) Thank you for also accepting me for who I am,  for being patient with my flaws and my weaknesses :) 

Thank you for standing alongside me.

Thank you for listening to me.

Thank you for being there for me when I don't know who to turn to.

Thank you for praying for me, my prayer warrior! :)

I always thank God for you.. because your life is such an example. You may not know the bible from Genesis to Revelation.. but you are so teachable and so eager to learn :) and you practice the little that you know.. You've grown so much from the first day when I met you in PKA :) I'm so proud of you! and constantly ask myself to learn from you :)

May Sophia Grace and Ultraman Bobo continue to be great friends even after Sophia Grace  graduates :) May we continue to surrender our lives to the Potter's Hands...His loving hands.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, 

blessed birthday Fong Wan! :)

ps: Hopefully the next time when we dance, we won't bang into each other AGAIN. seriously.. LOL!

Smartphones, not so 'smart' after all

Sad. Very sad.

Was having lunch with a friend at Genting Kopitiam and this boy was sitting right in front of me. I noticed him when he accidentally knocked our table while playing with the umbrella :) Then the boy sat down there eating quietly while his mum was playing with the smartphone. At first, I was really enjoying my laksa until I realised that his mum's attention wasn't on him but on the smartphone. Oh the 'wonders' of technology! It's just so sad and heartbreaking lah. Aunty, your boy needs your attention and love, not the smartphone. 

Maybe it's also a wake up call for us who are using smartphones as well. Ten years down the road, if you see me neglecting my kid(s) while playing with iphone22, I give you all the rights to dip my smartphone into my laksa soup..seriously.. 


Let us not lose sight of what's really important in life.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

 - C.S. Lewis

I choose to love. 

I rather be vulnerable..

because locking it up sounds scary! :O

Can we really love 
without expecting anything in return?

Bapaku

I went home last Friday, yup the one in balik pulau :) I spent some time talking to my dad haha it's not like I never talk to him before when I go home la..but last Friday, I pushed everything aside and give him my full attention. It was a very casual conversation la but it was another rare and meaningful conversation that we had. Just me and him. I know he enjoys talking to me. He delights in me..haha sounded like God right? :) My dad, even though not a christian, never fail to show me how a father would love his own daughter. I know the struggle that my dad is facing even though he just mentioned it briefly. Deep inside I know, and that's why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's really not easy and I can't even count how many times I've cried before God but I'm willing to share his burden because I love him. I know it's not easy for him too. Although what I'm doing is very little and may not even make any impact at all but I want to believe that my God is able to supply all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. My dad doesn't know Jesus. He doesn't know that he can tell Jesus his problems and Jesus can help.. Jesus can comfort, heal and restore. But I know. I know who Jesus is. I know what He can do.. Therefore, I will not stop praying.

I love my family. I realised that I'm also very protective towards my family even though I'm like the youngest and always manja at home haha :p But I will do what it takes to make sure that they are not harmed.. or hurt. So I can understand if my parents do not allow me to go for the Bersih rally. I understand :)

Aku cinta keluargaku :) Terima kasih Yesus.

"This is the greatest gift that I've ever received from God."

10 cara untuk kasih

how true :)

marriage vow

Marriage vows are promises that couples make to each other during a wedding ceremony.

"I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I enjoy listening to marriage vows whenever I go for weddings :) I think it's a beautiful thing.

You know, it's so easy to love a girl when she is young and pretty, energetic and healthy.
It's so easy to love a guy when he is good looking and nice,
successful and rich.

Will you still love her when she starts to have wrinkles on her face?
Will you still love her when she starts to get weak and need you to push her on a wheelchair?
Will you still love her when she becomes fat after giving birth? (biasa kan?)
Will you still love him when he loses his hair?
Will you still love him when he wets his pants?
Will you still love him when his gigi all tercabut? haha :)

"for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

What does this really means?

Love..endures all things.

Nothing compares to the promise I have in You

"I sing for joy at the work of Your hands." - from song: shout to the Lord

I always refer 'the work of Your hands' to God's creation like the sky, the moon, the stars, the galaxy, etc. But then this morning as I was worshiping, it hit me..that the 'works of Your hands' could also mean His hands moulding me, shaping me, correcting me, disciplining me, making me into His image.

Can I still sing for joy at the work of His hands when the discipline gets tough?

Can I still sing for joy at the work of His hands when it's painful?

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Hebrews 12:10-11

I sing for joy at the work of Your hands,
Forever I'll love you, Forever I'll stand,
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

Agape

If you don't love your own family, then how can you love others?

If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. 1 John 3:14

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. 1 John 3:18-19

one thing i ask of you

My birthday is coming soon! haha, if (if, if..if) you're thinking about what to buy for me *perasan* hAHAHA, i'm here to tell you a good news! You don't have to get anything for me :) just need to help me to sign the petition letter to the Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dato’ Seri Najib Tun Razak, to take a stand against forced labor and human trafficking in Malaysia and to ask for a more strongly protected environment for refugees and asylum seekers.

I'm very fortunate and blessed. I have a shelter, education, food, clothes, car, etc.. so I don't really need anything anymore. But these people, they are not.. they have to fight for their basic needs. Let's do them a small favour.




Sign the petition letter!
Make a difference!

http://www.change.org/petitions/wake-up-malaysia-protect-refugees-and-asylum-seekers-from-forced-labor-and-human-trafficking

Love is the key

Do you know that it's easy to love those who are lovely? As long as everyone with whom we are in contact is nice, pleasant, easy-going, and kind, we learn nothing about love. These people are easy to love. But as soon as you pray for love--say the words, "God, teach me how to love"--someone will come into your life who is nasty, bitter, cranky, difficult, harsh, mean-spirited; because when you can learn to love that person, then you will have learned something about love.
(read more at http://www.mjyoung.net/bible/fruit.htm )

We tend to always misuse the words "I love you." Love is not just feelings.. It is a decision.. a continuous effort to show good to someone even when there is nothing in return. It is selfless, sacrificial and transformational.. It is easy to say those words "I love you." but it is not easy to live it out. I'm learning.. I know I can love because He first loved me. My source of love comes from God because God is love. People can deny religious activities..but they can't deny love.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—
and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

hearts, protect them.

I think i've posted this link last year. The five pillars of manhood by Pr.Jaeson Ma. It's basically about how men should love and respect women. As I was just re-reading it, I agree whole-heartedly on what he had shared. But I would also like to add on, I feel it's not just how men should love and respect women.. Women should also do the same... It should be both ways, since we are all so precious to God.

"A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness. This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sisters heart." - Jaeson Ma


I think same goes to how women should relate to men? Personally, I'm still learning and this post serves as a reminder for me. We should not intentionally give wrong signals or message and give out fake encouragement to the opposite gender. We need to be clear with our intentions. As a girl, i mean, as a lady *ahem*, who doesn't enjoy being pursued? But love is simply NOT SELFISH. The bible says - Love your neighbour as yourself. "The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.”(Mark 12:31). We also have the responsibility to protect our brothers' heart. If we need to flee from temptations, then FLEE. "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22)


The unfailing love from Jesus Himself is enough to banjir our hearts. May we open our hearts and let Him fill us. We are made complete in Christ! Don't let the enemies tell us that we are not valuable or less valuable compared to other girls, because of look, appearance, etc.. You are VALUABLE. We are all equally VALUABLE to God. We are all first class in His kingdom, no second class. Cheers!

Father, I pray that I will learn to protect my brothers and sisters' heart.. through my actions and words. So that I will not cause them to stumble and fall..but to be drawn closer to You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

where is the love?

I may not have all answers to these questions. But this I know,

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 john 4:8-12

Where is the love? God is love.

We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. 1 John 4:19 (The Message)

Ps: I'm not a fan of Black Eyed Peas, but somehow this song spoke to me :)

kami kan kawan..?

Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:14-15




It's so easy to be someone who constantly agree with what your friend does or says, even when you know that it's not right.(I believe truths are found in the bible because it is the very word of God) I realised that I'm not a good friend. I'm always tempted to avoid telling the truth especially if the truth might hurt because it would be easier to remain silent.. And sometimes also to speak less than the truth because I do not want to offend my friends whom I treasure.. I actually care how they view me, what they think about me.. what if they don't like me after I tell them the truth? For example, sometimes, even if it's not ok, I would say 'Ya..I think it's ok'... how can we tell our friends it's ok when we clearly know that it's not ok?? what kind of friend am I?? And sometimes because I delayed in telling the truth, I see my friends suffer.. I see them fall. Do I really love my friends? "Love" is not "compromise". "Love" is not saying "Yes, I agree with you" all the time. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

However, there is a fine line between someone standing up for truth out of love for the Word (the bible) and for the other person, and someone who knows that he or she is right and just wants to win the argument. So, before any talk of "speaking the truth in love", we are called to humility, which compels us to put others first.

We need someone in our life, who will not ALWAYS agree with what we do.. but someone who will constantly draw us closer to God and challenge us to soar higher with God. I thank God for placing people like that in my life, people who will correct me in love when I'm wrong.. although sometimes I refused to be corrected because of my own pride.. but I know it's good, I want to learn to accept corrections, so that I may be transformed to be more like Christ. May I also draw hearts back to God as God gives me the boldness to speak the truth in love.

Wounds from a sincere friend
are better than many kisses from an enemy.
Proverbs 27:6

Apa dia cinta?

"It is difficult to love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not just based on feelings but a determination to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward."