The heart of a father

I'm somehow reminded about how my dad used to cane me with a rotan when I was young. I was quite naughty back then. Always fight with my brother :p Every time when he cane me, I would cry very loudly. Not just because it was pain physically (kena a lot of strokes ok) but also hati sakit :'( I would ask questions like, "Papa, You don't love me anymore?!!!" "WAaaaaaaaaaaa!"


Now as I grow older, I realised that my dad's heart was aching too when he hit me..but he did it anyway. Because he wants me to be a better person. He wants to teach me what is right and what is wrong. I suppose the same goes to our heavenly Father. He has been challenging me to do some things that I wouldn't want to do. I told him, "I am happy with what I am, where I am and who I am." But no, it was not enough.. He wants to korek out the dirt that I've kept in my heart - insecurities, bitterness, fears, disappointments, etc. because He desires to give me life and life abundantly!  ^{He allows disciplines because He loves me.}


For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. 
Hebrews 12:10-11

May we continue to learn the heart of our Father.

Psalm 23

Though I may walk through the valley

Though I may sail through the storm

I will not fear

Cause You are near

Though I may climb the highest mountain
Though I may go through the fire

I will not fear

Cause You are here

Your goodness and mercy follow me

All the days of my life

LAST paper! :D :D :D

5.5 more hours to FREEEEEEEDOM.

:D :D :D

I can't wait!!! yieeepieeeee

Can't wait to go home too!! It has been awhile since the last time I see my niece! :)

and she has grown so much!! :) :)

See you tomorrow! <3

:D

You give and take away,

You give and take away,

My heart will choose to say,

"Lord, Blessed be Your name!"

a thankful heart

I'm feeling very tired today. I don't understand why. Maybe because of the accumulated tiredness since study week? :/ hmm.. Was in the library and suddenly felt pain in the chest but not severe one lah, won't die one. haha only difficult to take deep breath. I normally felt this only when I'm very verryyy tired..  I also don't know why. So I decided to balik since the library going to tutup soon. I walked out from the library with my im-really-tired face. But when I was sitting in my car preparing to drive back to Tekun, I actually felt very thankful despite the tiredness.. because I have a car to drive :) I can leave the library anytime.. I don't have to wait for the bus (and the last bus is normally 10.30pm) or afraid that I would miss the bus. 


Then I realised that no matter how tiring or difficult a situation may seems to be, there are still things that we can thank God for. If only we look into the little little things around us that He has blessed us with :)

I'm also thankful for His faithfulness and His presence with me throughout this exam season. Sometimes 'mujizat' doesn't only when happen when water is turned into wine. It happens when I can rely more on His strength to bring me through this.


"Di saatku tak berdaya, kuasaMu yang sempurna."

Can we really love 
without expecting anything in return?

First paper, RAWR!

First day. First paper at 2.15pm. Quite scary :/
next week even worse, 5 papers in a week :O


But God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind! :) yup yup yup!

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. 

James 1:2-8 (The Message)

Carmen is weak,

but her God is strong! :)

God is for me, with me and in me!

Let faith arise, RAWRRR

To all of you out there who will be taking exams,

may God grant you wisdom and understanding :)