performance mentality

During Nexus, I realised that I have this performance mentality. I always want to perform. Whenever after I prayed or shared something, I will run to Yee Vonne and asked "How was my prayer?" "How was my sharing?" I compared my prayer with other people's prayer. I compared my spiritual maturity with others. I actually care so much about how other people see me.


Then I learn that : It's not about the performance but a heart that says 'Yes Lord.'. The moment we begin to compare, we are saying that we are loved by performance. God chose me and called me even before I was born...even before I begin to perform. I am not loved by performance. I am loved by His unconditional love.
I am made to be loved by God, not to perform.

Jesus, may You be the only audience that I seek to please
whenever I speak.