Best Boyfriend of the Year

He accompanied me for more than 4 hours at my grandma's house even though he is still having exams. If there's something I can thank God for, despite all that is happening, it would be friends who are there to pray and support me, boyfriend's family who can give godly counsel and a boyfriend who loves me :)

Good bye 2015

This year has been a year of transition, from student to young working adult. So happen to look through my Facebook pictures and reminded me of the good times.

Me in OCBC. Working in Collections Department has not been easy but I have crazy and fun colleagues with me. You get scolded for no reason but one thing good is you'll get used to it even if customers are cursing you. No big deal ;) I'm glad my time in OCBC ended well and my colleagues are still my friends. Will be helping out as bridesmaid for my Extra cash loan portfolio leader's wedding!

Then, entering Piktochart and joining company trip to Melbourne. 

If anyone asks, I'll always say 'It is God.' :) From application to interview and then getting selected, it was truly God's favor. 

Somehow, growing up/old makes me treasure my time with uni mates. I love catching up with them and I still do. Time flies and I need to live each day to the fullest. It's something I'm learning now. 

If anyone is wondering why I'm still in Penang, it is my family :) 'YOLO'! 'See the world when you're still young!', 'Go out and explore!'.... I've heard enough :) Never once I regret the decision I've made to stay because I know I'll regret if I choose otherwise. Although it has been my 'comfort zone', it hasn't been giving me much comfort. Trust me, my biggest struggle is in this so called 'comfort zone'. I love my family and I pray for them every, single day.

2015 didn't end so well for me but I hope it did for you :) 

He is the Way

We both have unanswered questions about God and we know we can only find the answers when we face God one day. While we remain silent to each other's questions, deep in our hearts we know that God is real. There's no other God, there's no other way. God is God. Is there anywhere we can hide from Him? Is there anything that He doesn't know? 

Heart's desire

I've asked God to break my heart for what breaks His.
and yes, He heard me.

This Christmas is a little different from the past 7 years. Being a Christian, I've always been celebrating with joy on Jesus' birthday. After all, this is the gift of eternal salvation to all...aren't we suppose to rejoice? Yes, I do but at the same time, I'm reminded/burdened knowing that many, many still do not know of this gift. Sometimes I find it painful to even talk about this.

Haze

The greed of mankind can be so blinded to a point where they forget what they need most in life - oxygen. Something money cannot buy. 

Good bye, Rachel :(

After graduation and leaving PKA, Bukit Jambul Lifegroup has been very close to my heart. This is where I get my spiritual support and encouragement to keep running the race. I've been serving together with Rachel and Bro Edwin in this lifegroup for more than a year now. It has always been a joy to be able to serve the people I enjoy meeting every week :) My partner, Rachel will be leaving in a week's time. Funnily enough, I cried in a Farewell dinner that I planned for....nooooooo!!! I'm going to miss having someone young to attend leaders' meeting together with me and someone who brings LIFE to lifegroup.And most importantly someone who laughs at my lame jokes :P

:( Good bye Rachel.
Yet I'm also confident that God will send someone. He never fails to do that :)

This lifegroup believes that E is for Intelligence and I for English :P

Life

Instead of looking at what we've lost, we should look at what we've gained.

Adventure is out there for us :)

Harlooo :)

Piktochart:

When I first started to work in Piktochart, I struggled with self-confidence and self-value because I work with many talented and gifted people at Piktochart. I tend to compare myself with them and wondering why was I even hired? Cause I don't have much to offer. As time passed by, I've grown to love these people. I work with very lovable and beautiful people which I'm very thankful for! :) Instead of comparing myself with them or dwelling in questions that I do not have answers for (except God putting me there for a reason, i guess it's a good enough reason?), I try to learn as much as I can from them and appreciate being around awesome peeps! :) Thank you for all your encouragement and prayers, I've now passed my probation and officially part of this wonderful family! Hip hip hurray!
PS: I'll be going for a company trip in Melbourne in two weeks' time, everything will be paid for except for our own spending on Free & Easy days. I didn't have much money to exchange for Aussie but God provided the exact amount I needed even without me asking! Yipieee :D

Reservoir Garden Baptist Church:

Happy 50th Birthday RGBC! :) This is where I grow, I learn, I serve and I belong. I used to struggle with a few disagreements and thought of leaving but then I've stayed on and I'm sooo glad I did! It has been 7 years now :) This is not a perfect church but it is definitely a good church. I've grown to appreciate my pastors, my leaders and RGBC-ians for guiding me and helping me to grow spiritually :) I'm proud to say that we have really good and caring leaders! I pray for us to move forward with God, more of God for the next 50 years and less of ourselves.

Lastly, Happy Merdeka to my one and only HOME !

There's something special about rainbow and colourful balloons. Not sure what is it but they make me happy :) 

Time will tell

The values and principles we once held dearly to... will be tested and challenged when we started working and bombarded with all things in this world. Time will tell..whether we really had those values in the first place..

or was it merely just a thought we had when we were well-protected in our campuses?

My God and I

I won't deny the fact that it's more difficult to live for God in the working world, even simple things like having the discipline to spend time with God each day. It's a struggle for me and I know I have backslidden from where I was. 

Yet His love always overwhelms me, His grace always draws me back.

I stand amazed in the presence
  Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
  A sinner condemned, unclean.

Human beings are so weak. We can be so close to God today and so far away from Him tomorrow. What draws me back again, is not my own discipline or effort.. but simply being in awe of My Father's love for me again.

I don't know why God speaks to me through hymns lately, but I love it :)

1. My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
   For Thee all the pleasures of sin I resign;
   My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou,
   If ever I loved Thee, Lord Jesus, ’tis now.

Take these mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like Hope again

My FIRST Infographics! :)

Yay! My First infographics! Thanks Tien and Shaun for helping me out and being there for me :) and for sitting there with me for hours!

It's not perfect but good enough for me and leaving rooms for improvement :D

I'm always blessed beyond measure!

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud

My new favorite! :) So beautifully written!

A new journey ahead!

Hello! This is going to be THE MOST SHOCKING & EXCITING NEWS OF THE YEAR : Carmen is now part of Piktochart Family! Wooohoo! *I can feel excitement bursting out from me even as I'm typing this!!* :D Can you believe it?? I can't even believe this. haha 

It was one random day that I had this 'just apply and see' kinda feeling and it turned up to be God's wonderful plan for me :) I had to pass 3 interviews including an interview with the CEO in order to get this job. Throughout the whole process, I've been telling people "If I get in, it must be God." And true enough, when God opens a door, nobody can shut :) Until today, I am still not quite sure why I am chosen but yays, I am chosen! It's definitely God's favor from the start to the very end! Honestly, I've never felt so sure of what I want ever since I graduated..until I went for my first interview in Piktochart. And tadaa! It feels so good to know that you finally found something that you're passionate about :D and the best thing is I saw God's hand at work in this whole journey :) It feels a bit scary for me to join one of the Best Start-Up companies in Malaysia cause it feels so BIG and HUGE.. but then again, I'm thinking if God's favor can carry me in then His favor will definitely carry me through. Praying that I will continue to trust Him till the very end :)


I'll surely miss this bunch of monkeys who journeyed with me for the past 4 months- The Newbie Team! and not forgetting my good boss too. Thank you for all the teasing, bullying, sharing crazy stories and laughing our heads off!

I'm just so thankful and grateful to God for everything. I still feel very undeserving of this each time when I share but God never fails to give me the best things in life :) Not because I earn it or deserve it, simply because He is good. 

 3 more weeks..and.. Goodbye OCBC Bank!:P

Cheng Beng

Thoughts of the day when I was on the way to church, being stuck in jam.

Me : Carmen, do you know where the burnt offerings go to? 

Myself : Well, most of the times, when I asked my friends, they would say it is for their late parents/relatives/ family in hell, so that they would have a better life with all the 'burnt' house/handphones/money etc.

Me : Why do they still choose hell when God has promised Heaven through Jesus Christ?

Myself : It could be traditions/beliefs that were being passed on from generations to generations.

Me : Do they not know about the truth; God loves them and want them to be in Heaven?

Myself : That's why you are here to tell them.
 

Uncle Guna

This post is specially dedicated to Uncle Guna who has gone Home to be with our Father. Uncle Guna was a cheerful man. He didn't own a big house or a big car.. he only owned a motorbike but he is a rich man.. rich in relationships and values. The world sees wealth differently than how God sees it. 

Uncle Guna lived with a heart of a servant - serving others and serving God. Most of the time when I saw him in church, he would be watering the plants. He would do those little things that most people wouldn't care or notice. I'll definitely miss seeing his smile and his heart of service. Even in watering those plants I could see that he was doing all that with joy..joy of the Lord.

Many turned up for his funeral because they respected him; the way he lived his life. Being in his funeral made me think.. I don't want people to come to my funeral and testify of my earthly wealth (though now I do not have any lol) "You know, carmen was a rich woman. She had 3 big bungalows and 4 Sports car excluding her Satria Neo!" If that's the only thing people testify during my funeral,  I would be crying in my coffin lol. There is so much to examine about my own life and sometimes I just couldn't tahan myself; my selfishness and pride. Yet not by my own transforming power but God's.

Uncle Guna, you will be an example, a model and an inspiration for many of us who are still running the race. Nobody wins a prize for starting well but finishing well. And you have finished well :) I'm glad that you are in a better place - Heaven, a place with no more sufferings, pain or tears and forever in the presence of our God, delighting in His love for you.
Till we meet again :)

 

Observation

I'll definitely not marry a man who plays Candy Crush smart phone games during a sermon.

Man, it's time to rise up.

Man up!

In Christ alone

In Christ alone, my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song,
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

too much.

That feeling of being humiliated in public and being teared down by people whom you love and care.

The heart cries out...cries out to God.

My customers....

Sometimes really feel like want to cucuk them with my pen... or baling a bottle of ketchup on their face haha such an evil thought! :X

So far all the customers who are giving me a hard time are women... i repeat, WOMEN. why whyyyyyy arghhh.

My boss...

I couldn't ask for more.
I don't think I'll ever get to find a boss like her.

Truly, God's favor.

Little fatty growing up

Sometimes I wish they never grow up...

Sometimes I wish that for myself too.. lol

Happiness is when...

you get to sleep all you want without the need to set your alarm.

Sleeping is a blessing!

#throwback

Didn't have any time to blog for the past few weeks though there are many things I would like to share! It has been crazy OT for the past weeks and including working on a Saturday. Aihh. Apart from work, life has been good. haha 

Shaun came up to Penang last weekend to meet up. It was a short 3 days but AWESOME!


When fine dining is too main stream on Valentine's day, we have steamboat!  :D 
Reunion dinner came early for us :) as usual, i love the ham!!!

And I converted him to become a converse follower! cause his shoes are boring haha

:)

It has been refreshing for me as well.. to take my mind off work-related stuff and thoughts. so I'm really thankful for him! 

I remember people asking me if I would prefer being single (like how I used to be) or in a relationship. I used to prefer single hood; I can do my own stuff, when life is all about me, myself and I..and God too, of course hehe it was care-free and not so draining emotionally (hmm not at all, actually haha). But now I'm also thankful to God for bringing me a partner who supports me and someone who can share the joy and the pain :) 

So I guess there is no such thing as single is better or in relationship is better.. if you are still single then enjoy your single hood..if you're in relationship, enjoy your relationship loh haha 

_______________________________________________________

By the way, I almost got in to 2 escalation cases just in the past 2 weeks. Yes, Singaporeans do what they do best - complain. It was God's favor that I got out of them :) can't explain to you in details here but if you wish to know more, I can testify His goodness!

Dear Customers,

If no money, don't sign up for credit cards. There is no such thing as future money or free lunch in this world. And if you make the payment late, then there is such thing called late charge.

It is your own fault if you do not know how to manage your own finance. So please keep the abusive language to yourself :)


Anyway, happy cny! :D huat ahh!

:D :D :D

My heart rejoices when OT is cancelled and system is down! even if it's just few hours WEEEEEEEEE :D

Escape

A quitter, I am. 

I realize how easily I give up on something or someone..especially when the going gets tough. I'm not a tough person and I hate challenges so I will always incline to the easy way out - escape or run away. My flesh would always choose comfort rather than pain, self rather than others. This morning in church, I was just worshiping God and wondering if God understands how I feel or can He even relate to me since He is God Himself? 

Then I was reminded on the Garden of Gethsemane. A place where Jesus prayed to God, to take away the cup of suffering; the cross that He was about to die on, the sins of the world that He needed to carry. Yet, He chose obedience to the will of the Father.. to die on the cross.

At this point (as I'm typing all these), there is still tug-of-war happening inside of me. One part says, "Trust your Father" and another says, "I don't want to do this anymore". My boyfriend said leadership is a lonely journey because most leaders walk alone. I would like to add on to that; not only leaders but any person who is going through struggles - be it sickness, financial difficulty, family issues, ministries, addictions, workplace politics - these are all lonely journeys because at the end of the day, you have to face it all by yourself. No one can walk this journey for you though some comforts and encouragement may help.

On that night when Jesus was arrested, nobody was there to encourage or to comfort, worst still all His disciples flee. Honestly, if I were there 2000 years ago, I'd definitely flee too because I would be as fearful as they were. Wondering how Jesus must have felt back then? and when He shouted, "My God, my God why have You forsaken me?"

He went through all that just so that today we can call God as our Father and we can be assured that Our Father will never leave us nor forsake us.

That's my comfort.

Reflection: 2014 experience

One of my journal entries in 2014.. how timely it is for me to read this again now.

TGIF

"No one is free in the bank..not even the cleaner" - supervisor

made me LOL. but it's true.. aunty seems to be busy too; cleaning the desks, toilets and everything else.

Me: Hi, I'm Carmen calling from OCBC Bank.
Customer: Camel?
Me: Carmen.

Then she repeated my name as Camel again!! My gosh, who would name their child, camel? haha I wanted to LOL in the midst of a tensed negotiation. These are little 'joy' I find at a fast-paced and stressful working environment.

Penang --------------------------------- Malacca

Through all the ups and downs in life, I'm thankful for this boy who is always loving me, seeking to understand me, listening to my complaints, accepting me for all my weaknesses and failures, praying for me and journeying alongside me. 

To people who may think that age differences can't make a relationship work, now I can tell you..it's not true and no need to care so much about what others think ya :) but chemistry is important!

And to all LDR couples, you really earn my respect. haha because i miss my malaccan boy :(
#emo-nemo

My God

Though my heart may fail, You will always be,
I'll sing, Our God never fails. My God never fails.

So many times I fall short of God's standard. And sometimes I'm even ashamed of myself; to see how weak and broken I am. Yet I'm thankful and grateful that His love and grace will always reach down to me...to where I am.