Thursday, January 31, 2013

I won't give up



Saw an old couple sitting in front of us yesterday when Tien and I went for dim sum. I was stalking them. haha It's amazing how they can still love and care for each other at an old age.. I guess they really meant it when they said "I do" on their wedding day :) With the ever increasing divorce rate around the world, may we learn from many other couples who chose not to give up when things get tough or rough.

"..for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart."

Monday, January 28, 2013


Nooo, me no expert in photography. hahaa but I don't know since when I enjoy looking at the sky..ah, so melancholy. haha (maybe because of the amount of time I spent in traffic jam! :O haha)

Whenever I look at the sky, I'm always reminded that there is a power which is above all powers in this world. And the amazing thing is this super super super powerful God;
 He is in me, for me and with me :)


Monday, January 14, 2013

oh noooooooooo!

I've finished my exam...
so sad.

Hhahahahahahahahahhahahaha :p


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

It's....

   






Playing and...      





 Makan time!!!!

                                                     I believe I can fly,
                                      I believe I can touch the sky!! :D :D :D




Sunday, January 13, 2013

I believe if God has given us something or someone, no one can take away from us. Even when God gives..and then God takes away, may we learn to say 'Lord, blessed be Your name.' 





ps: Derek was right. I update my blog the most during exam season. haha

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Psalm 23


The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want
When I am nothing
He is all that I need

Though I may walk through the valley
Though I may sail through the storm
I will not fear cause You are near

Though I may climb the highest mountain
Though I may go through the fire
I will not fear cause You are here

Your goodness and mercy follow me
Your goodness and mercy follow me
All of my days


This song, Psalm 23, accompanied me throughout 
the whole semester :)


The Lord is my shepherd! Hip hip Hurray!
:D


Thank youuuuuuuuuu, God! *hugs*

Thursday, January 10, 2013


Man will fail us...including ourselves..

but not God.




The father and daughter decided to fall sick together last Monday.

My niece was having diarrhea and red swellings on and off. 
Her father pulak diarrhea and fever.
Tsk tsk.


Reon: Watch!
Fillion: Name tag la.
Carmen: HAHAHAAH


Thank you to those who have been praying for them :) :) 
She was discharged this afternoon! 

So, that day I was talking to Fong Wan about this lah..
Carmen: ...not easy loh to raise a kid..
Fong Wan: Ya ya..it's not easy..it's not easy to raise a dog too.. You know ah, my dog at home.. *serious face*
Carmen: =.=" LOL


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

justice.. where are you?

I realised that this time my exam is very happening. I witnessed my lecturer teaching her students in the exam hall. I stared at her for a while, making sure that I heard correctly. I raised my hand to inform an invigilator that was walking towards my row.. I told him, "Lecturer tidak sepatutnya mengajar student di dalam exam hall." He looked at me, giving me the I-can't-do-anything look. Fine. The lecturer then continued teaching more students as though the rest of the students are blind. I was pissed. I finished up my last question and went to the front to pass up my answers script. I told another invigilator. She gave me the same look, perhaps the i'm-in-dilemma look. Ok, I know it's not easy but to be honest, I was very disappointed. I went out and saw another invigilator and told her the same thing.. my friend who came out after me, heard our conversation and confirmed what I said. The invigilator then said "Ok, I will go in and try to see what I can do." Basically, EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT'S HAPPENING BUT NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING. I felt like I'm not heard! I can feel myself screaming inside, "Hello!! Justice!! Where are you???"

Dear lecturer, even if you find out about me trying to report about your action and decide to fail me.. I'm perfectly fine with it because it is not worth scoring your paper. I would rather fail your subject than to compromise. And what I cannot tahan most is you gave us a lecture on how we need to be honest and 'not taking short cuts' in life. You did not walk your talk. I'm deeply, extremely disappointed with you.

A lot of things were running in my mind even til now. Most people would choose the easy way out which is to ignore and tutup sebelah mata. Others would probably tell me "It's like that one la.." or "What to do?" 
so? means what? It's ok to do all these? Actually there are a lot of things we can do..we can stand up, we can speak up.. we can do our part.
I'm not making a big hu-ha because I'm afraid they could perform better than me or what not, but simply because this is not right! Is it just because I have not seen the 'world' much enough so you say, "Carmen, pls don't over react"?
Is that why I look like a weirdo now who is trying to make a big fuss out of 'small issue'
Yet again, where is justice? If we do not stand up for small things, will we stand up for bigger things? If we don't fight for justice, who else will?

Have we become numb to the injustices that are happening around us? because they happen so often, they happen every day!
Are we tired of fighting for what is right? just because it is not an easy path.. just because it requires one to take risks and go against the flow?

Have I become numb? What is my stand? How far can I go? How many times will I speak up? How many times will I fight against all these?


This incident has also reminded me.. reminded me that there are a lot of people who are being mistreated. I'm not the only one because this world is not just me, myself and I..but also Siti, Mary, Mutu, Ah Chong, Ramli and many more. I speak up for my own rights..but I've forgotten about the rights of these people.. the penan people, the orang asli, the refugees.. And what I'm experiencing now is nothing compared to what they've experienced. Yet, I've become so numb to their news. I became tired after some time.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my selfishness..I'm sorry for my ignorance. 

With what shall I come before the Lord
    and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
    with calves a year old?
Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
    with ten thousand rivers of olive oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
    the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:6-8

Dear God, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Remind me always to hate the sin, not the sinner. Give me strength and wisdom to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with You..because many times I failed. Help me Father :'(

Monday, January 7, 2013

cover me!

so lameee la this!!! but so funny!!!
hahahahahaa 
*like*

Sunday, January 6, 2013

The cleaners

When I put this up, my intention is not to offend anybody.. see, I got draw smiley haha  our sinks are all clogged, for goodness' sake. hmm I just hope that we will not treat our USM cleaners as though they are our maids. Although they are hired to clean our toilets,  they are also human beings. How would you feel if they were your parents? Do you know that the cleaners start working early in the morning just to keep our hostels clean? Yup, somebody actually sweep the corridors every morning... the cats did not help to sweep the floor. And the cleaners are the ones who throw away all our extremely dirty and super smelly sampah. The least that we can do is to clean up our own mess. As university students, I think we should learn to apply the little that we know.. we can score all we want (CGPA 4.0)..but what's the point if we don't even know how to clear the sisa makanan from the sinks? Let us learn to appreciate the cleaners by clearing up our own mess. Thank you, Apex students :)

Hohoho

Nama biskut ini adalah biskut kebahagiaan :D
My room mate is shoooo nice tooo meee!

hohoho
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Happy Sabbath too!



Friday, January 4, 2013

my first experience

Last Wednesday, I saw two people who were sitting next to me whispering to one another in the exam hall. And it was so obvious to me that they were trying to exchange answers. For the first time in USM, I witnessed with my own eyes. I was so angry. I cannot tahan. So I AHEM AHEM and stared at them for a while. They saw me staring at them, lol.. then they stopped for a while but then continued again later on. I got so irritated. Then I AHEM the second time! (meaning I'm already giving you the second chance..) but they refused to stop. If you fail the paper after trying with your own effort, I will respect you for that.. because at least you tried.. rather than doing this kind of thing. 


I remember last time my church friend shared the same experience.. and when he did not stand up for justice, I was like "Ehh where can? If i were you, I will tell the invigilator." But yesterday when I was in that situation, I realised that it was not as easy as I thought loh. My heart was beating really fast.. and I was like thinking, Omygosh, what should I do??.. I cannot pretend like I didn't see because I really saw. I wanted to raise my hand and tell the invigilator but I was so afraid hahaa..what if they take revenge on me? scratch my car? kill my gold fish? etc Then I was just thinking to myself, ".. if you choose not to stand up for what is right..then next time you don't have the right to tell others to do it.."

To cut the long story short, in the end I handed up my answer script about 20 minutes before time (I finished kinda early, that was how I saw them whispering). I went to the front, informed my lecturer who was also invigilating (but I use the word 'suspect'..so that he can check on them first) and raaaaaaan back to my room! Takut they know I was the culprit (if they find out about my blog, I'm so dead) hahaha Later, I found out from my course mate that my lecturer went to them and asked them not to talk. 

From this experience kan, I know how coward I am. hahaha Like, you want to do it but you're afraid to do it. Eg; sitting a roller coaster. Sometimes standing up for justice and for what is right is really not easy.. especially for coward like me.. haha but can start small..and start some where. Because I think it is not right to let our fears hinder us from doing what is right. #stilllearning


Thursday, January 3, 2013

two zero want three

Gave a testimony during Watch Night service on how God has been good to me in 2012. Was actually busy preparing for finals..but then, God is too good that I cannot afford not to share His goodness :) and the thing is, I didn't went up alone :) I went up with a good friend who journeyed alongside me all these years. 

Thank you Joanne! :) It was really a good way to end 2012. It was not just a sharing.. but it was a testimony that came out from a test :) It was a sign of victory, victory that comes from God!! and I'm definitely very proud of you :) God is so real. God is so good!
May we continue to run this race with endurance and perseverance..we do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus :) God will be our source of strength! Weeee!

Maybe Surely goodness and mercy shall 
follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6
:)

Hello, 2013!