Intern's ship II

Dua bulan sudah berlalu dan dua bulan lagi! Really can't wait for this to finish but at the same time, I think I'll miss my colleagues here :( They are really nice people! I'm the only cina in this centre (Centre for Business Development, Entrepreneurship & Risk Management -CBER USM) while the rest are malays. But they treat me so niceeee compared to my cina colleagues in previous company. They would buy food for me and make me feel belong :) They know I can't eat spicy food (due to my cough) so they make sure that the food they buy for me are not spicy..ah, so thoughtful! :') My ex-manager (the one whom I met in Subway) bought me souvenir from India!! and because the bangles were too big for me, he actually changed the sizes for me too :') I'm just so so thankful for them.

Ta daaa! My cubicle at workplace hehee. It's really comfy and nice. Just that sometimes very cold :/ and for this reason I will be moving to another cubicle soon! yippieee :D 

This is my soon-to-be cubicle! 3 more interns will be coming in next month, looking forward to meet them! :) I think I'll be a good senior..because I know how it feels when others bully you or do not even acknowledge your existence. Therefore, I want to be a good senior :)

Many times we cry out, "Nobody understands how I feel".. yet how many of us actually understand how Jesus felt when He was on the way to the cross? How many of us actually understand how God felt when He has to send His only Son to die for you and me? Jesus didn't die so that we can dwell in self pity. He died for us so that we can live a victorious life.

Whenever you think nobody understands, be assured that God understands. And that is more than enough.

ahem ahem ahem

So.. i've been coughing for almost 6 months now! Not the nonstopcoughing24/7 kind of cough, if not you would be attending my funeral by now haha sometimes it's more in the morning..sometimes more at night when I'm about to sleep, sometimes it can be quite frequent and go on for a few hours.. but mostly after I ate spicy or oily food..so I've stopped for some time (huhu my favourite tomyam:( ) sometimes I give in to temptation but most of the time, I was victorious lah :D

I'm now a cough expert haha the best way to sleep at night is to put another pillow on top of your pillow..somehow you won't cough as much, it really works for me! Hot drinks especially honey lemon help to make your throat feel much better one :) Also try to always bring lozenges wherever you go, just in case you start coughing like mad in front of a large crowd (church especially during sermon time!)..very awkward one!

I've seen a few doctors and tried all sorts of medication but.. not much improvement. Don't worry ya, I don't have TB because my X-ray is alright! :D But honestly kinda desperate lor. It can be really frustrating when your sickness just don't go away. Especially when cough for a few hours one ah, my chest feel pain after some time..and then I don't feel like talking to anyone one.. not because I'm anti social..or emo, but because it's really painful and it's very tiring to continue talking.

So recently I've been asking God more often.. Why? I've been praying for healing, believing for healing..Why You have the ability to heal me but yet You are holding it back? Why not just heal me when You can?

Then I was also reminded of Sin Yee, a church friend who suffers partial blindness.. and severe dry eyes problem. Each time when I sit beside her in church, she uses her eye drop every 10-15 minutes..even during worship time. For so many years, the church has been praying for her. She went through operation after operation..yet we are still praying. When I contacted her through whatsapp recently, she can still tell me that God is good to her. Seriously for her to be able to say that, God must be really real.

And the challenge I felt God giving to me is whether I will still love Him and serve Him even if I am not healed? So yesterday's time with God ended with a prayer/worship.

When the darkness closes in Lord, 

still I will say, 'Blessed be Your name'.

You give and take away,

my heart will choose to say, 'Blessed be Your name.' 

 The comfort is I'll be given a new body in heaven anyway :)

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

Dear cough,

It has been a long long time. My lungs are tired. Please take a break and have a kit kat. 

Sincerely annoyed,

Carmen

Just because everyone is doing it (sex before marriage), doesn't mean it is the right thing to do. What kind of values are we passing down to our generations?

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

Sorry Daddy.
I know it breaks Your heart because it breaks mine too.