God, why?

So this was what happened at night on 5th of May; When Fong Wan came into the room, I was already lying on my bed because I was dead tired..but I haven't fallen asleep. And she asked, 'Carmen, let's pray?' Then I replied, 'I cannot pray..' I actually didn't expect that to come out from my mouth.. but really, I didn't know what to pray anymore. Deep inside, I was questioning and doubting God. I can't comprehend His plan.. Why is He allowing all these? How can this be a good plan to prosper and not to harm us? Just like how Habakkuk cried out, 'How long o Lord?' (Habakkuk 1:2), I too felt the same.

Decided to go for all churches combined prayer at EPCC just now. And what struck me most is when Pr. Sam said, "You won't go wrong when you celebrate Jesus!" How true. Just when we don't know what to do or where we are heading towards, all the more we need to look to Jesus. One of the worship songs that moved me to tears was 'God of this City',

You're the God of this City 

You're the King of these people 
You're the Lord of this nation 
You are 

You're the Light in this darkness 

You're the Hope to the hopeless 

You're the Peace to the restless 

You are 

If you ask me now, I seriously still can't comprehend His plan.. but now, I'm reassured that His plans are good simply because He is a good God. God loves Malaysia even much more than I do. I know He has not forgotten our land. I know He will bring restoration and He is at work. Habakkuk also never expect God to raise up Babylonians, God always does things exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ever imagine..and then make us go 'Wow!'. Perhaps God is taking this time to prepare us for the greater things that have yet to come! It's exciting time that we're living in :) I know He has heard every cry and every prayer and all our cries and prayers matter so much to Him :) I will rest in Him and Him alone. Let us be assured too, that though we may sow in tears we will reap with joy! Hidup Rakyat! Hidup Tuhan! (God is alive!) :) 

I know that I will still be angry at some of the latest news (eg; Cina Tsunami) especially when I see them on FB. So I've challenged myself to always pray whenever I feel angry or disappointed, may God grant me wisdom to respond and not react ;) I'm glad I went for Combined Prayer. Now I understand why Peter and John would run to their companions after being released (Acts 4:23). And the first thing they did was they prayed together with fellow believers. So important and crucial. May we not lose sight of this too :)

and Yes, God knows what He is doing.