goodbye 2011!

what a great and surprising way to end my 2011! :)

guess what I received today?? LIKE..TODAY! :)
I received a letter from God! hahahaa
not exactly but I just feel that it is REALLY FROM God :)



Remember the National Conference 2010? This afternoon, my mum passed a letter to me and I was surprised to receive this 'covenant' that I wrote to God last year in National Conference. I've almost forgotten about it. And when I read back what I've written, I was like "I wrote this?" Haha it is kinda long punya covenant :p

My very own words have encouraged me, so funny..
"It's hard to love others with a sincere heart, so Father, I ask for your heart."
"I want to transform lives and touch lives, not to convert."

I cannot believe that I wrote this too. Great reminder! Thank you, FES!


Many things that I've been through this year..ups and downs..there were times when I really really struggled..(only some of my close friends knew) but without all these, I won't grow.. "still living and learning"- quoting Jin.

Three words to sum up this year: God is Faithful.

:)
hello 2012.
I'm ready!

minggu membaca

Spent most of my time in the room, studying. HEE--EEE---LP. I'm bored.

HAHAHAHAH
I need to LOL in order for me to..





CHILL!

This will be my song, this will be my plea
that as I rend my heart and bow my knees
You'd restore intimacy

There will be a day

There will be a day
When You will wipe away
Every tear from our eyes
And there will be no night
For You will be the light
That we see with unveiled eyes

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev 21:3-4

happy belated christmas!

Went for christmas+new year shopping with my parents last week. It was a good time because I get to buy a few things nyek nyek nyek :D


YAY! I like this one! I saw it at Parkson and was deciding whether to get it or not because it's a bit expensive. But I REALLY WANT THIS to start my 2012 :) :) so yeahh, I bought this!! Actually I saw another one which is Mr.Bean's Teddy as front cover.. wanted to get that too but I've learnt about opportunity cost in Economics - which simply means I need to let go of something if I purchase another thing! :p

This will be Phang Carmen's 2012 journal :)
Tidak sesuai untuk tontonan semua lapisan masyarakat..because it's private! :)

One thing I really really like about this book is that I can 'tick' my mood :D :D :D then it makes my reflection so much easier, don't you think so? :p

Study week starts now! Time to chase after time and study like a mad cow :/

moo mooooooo!
moooo-i-need-moooo-good-mooooo-food!

surface

Sejak kebelakangan ini, saya tengah belajar perkara yang baru. Saya mendapati bahawa bukan segala hal dapat difahami dengan melihat pada permukaan sahaja. Budak-budak pun tahu pengajaran ini I rasa "Jangan menghakimi buku dengan melihat kulitnya". Tetapi pernahkah saya mempraktikkan pengajaran ini?

If she doesn't do this this this means she is that that that.. If she is doing that that that means she is this this this..
but sometimes it's not just what you think it is lah.

You may think that it is the person's responsibility to explain himself or herself.
But not everything can be explained.
You won't know how heavy, how tiring, how painful that person is feeling.
What if it is not that person's position to explain things?

I'm learning to see things not just with my eyes
but to see them with my heart too.

And one thing I know, no matter how we're feeling or what we're going through,
God is someone who can do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we can ever imagine
that's why He is called God.

God, I believe.

brother bear

I smsed my brother who is in KL, telling him that my house modem is spoilt and asking him what I should do..after a while, he called and told me to search for the old modem in my room. Of course, it was not helpful :/ but it was nice of him to give me a call.. and remind me that I have another brother in KL who will entertain me when I call for HELP! (my eldest brother helps me when I get lost in Penang, he serves as my GPS). I sent my bro MMS sometimes - when I think my face is cute, when I took his car for car wash, when I play with Reon, when I eat good food, etc.. but sometimes I just can't wait for him to come back..and irritate me as usual.. Dia macam perempuan because he always spend so much time in the toilet combing his hair! and he is SLOW macam perempuan. He always nag me for not tidying my room and his car.. and shakes his head whenever I start dancing at home.

I don't like separation. at all.

miss my niece too

Nevertheless, I'm thankful. I'm grateful. because my family is the best-est gift from God.

Is christmas really christmas?

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:20-21

With You.

I was just reflecting

What would it be like

If my life is without You, without You

I would be speaking vulgar and behave rudely

I would be finding security

In things that are temporary

I would struggle through circumstances

Pretending to be strong n’ courageous

I would be chasing after my selfish dreams

But I’m glad, so so glad

That my life was never the same

The moment I met my Saviour

He calls me by name

And He said, “I love you my daughter. I love you my Bride.”

How could I not change, with You by my side

How could I not be transformed

To be more like You, to be more like You Jesus

I learn to speak life now

I learn to be better every day

I find myself in You and not my another crush

I still struggle when problems hit me

But I remain strong n’ courageous

because my God, He is with me.

M e r r y C h r i s t m a s!

happy birthday fong wan!!

To the cutest person ever born,

THAM FONG WAN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :) :)
*belated one day* I'm sosososo sorry that I cannot make it for your celebration yesterday because I had to dance for church ladies' event. was there since 5pm yesterday. Walau bagaimanapun, this post is dedicated just for you!! :)

I just want to say a big THANK YOU to you for being who you are -Ms. Tham :) I don't understand why you always say I'm such an encouragement to you.. Personally I feel you're a greater encourager and you never fail to teach me how to love others. You will always take the extra miles for your friends. This friend of mine has a very big heart for people :) and she never fails to see things positively and always learn to see things through God's eyes. Indeed, she is awesome because God created her to be who she is, AWESOME! :)





Fong wan, let me tell you something.. You're beautiful just the way you are! :)
Thanks for being such a great friend. I pray that you will continue to grow grow grow grow in your walk with God :D I believe God will use you to touch many more lives as you learn to trust Him more :) In our weaknesses, His strength is even more evident! blessed birthday!!

plastik berharga 20 sen

I went to Tesco just now to buy some stuff for PKA christmas celebration in USM tomorrow. I held 8 medium packets of fruit cakes with my two strong hands *yalah tu, strong tau..i didn't take basket*, ran to the cashier to make payment.

Cashier: Tesco card?
Me : Tak de. Saya nak plastic.
Cashier: Plastic kena tambah 20 sen.
Me: Ya ok.
Cashier: *pass me the plastic* teet teet teeet
Me: *pay money and walk off*

While I was walking, I looked at the receipt. RM 44. "Eh, how come he didn't charge me 20 cents for plastic?" Then I said to myself, "It's ok lah, Carmen. 20 cents only lah. I lazy want to walk back already.. 20 cents only, please lah you."

......................................
........................

I walked towards the cashier..

Me : *waves* Hi, tadi saya tak bayar lagi untuk plastik.
Cashier: Ohh

Actually, it's not about how much the plastic costs... but because deep inside I was convicted to give back something that I shouldn't take.. whether it's 20 cents or RM200, if it doesn't belong to me, it should be given back. I know the cashier doesn't know (maybe he also doesn't care lah) but my God sees. It's really not about me and the cashier, but me and my God.

I just want to learn to honor my God in things that I do.. I don't want to compromise, at least I shall try.

Jin!! *screams*

Congrats to Jin who won 'TVB's Most Improved Actor 2011' award yesterday!! (this line is for you, joanne!) *cheers*
I'm so happy for Jin! :)


'When the lights come on' music video :)
I think it talks about how a young boy indulge himself in clubbing, drinking, etc.. then towards the end, he begins to realize that life has a greater meaning than all that..
may it speaks to you too :)




And also, Jin will be acting in one of my fav tvb series!!!! yayyyy, i can't wait!!! :D

updates after busy weeks

They took hours to wrap my 'present' but it took me only 15 minutes to take them out..with the help of 3 cleaners who have sympathy on me.hahahaa anyway, appreciate your 'hard' work! :D

Seriously, hard work. haha

I'm now a registered voter! :) Proud to be a malaysian, tanah tumpahnya darahku! :)

My cheeky niece is getting fatter! I can't afford to carry her more than 10 minutes.. D:

Reon : I enjoy playing with my ku che! *laughs*

when the lights come on

Jin's new song! :D *likelikelikelikelikelikelike*


"Things that once were normal to you start feeling strange
You realize the world is kinda upside down
Time to readjust, plus we must shine now"


"I was never perfect, never claimed to be
in due time it will all be planned to be"


By the way, Jin just replied my tweet! hahahaha

iammcjin Jin

@phangcarmen Glad the music speaks to you! Praise the Lord :)

High school musical :D

:) I was youtubing.. and saw this video :D
I remember we danced this song before during one of our girl guides' gathering! High school time! We actually danced almost one whole day to synchronize ourselves! I can't really remember the steps already.. it's a sign of aging.. this was.. wait i think 4-5 years ago!! Funny :p

Let go

How can I learn to rest in Him unless I learn to trust in Him?

Let go, Let God be.. GOD.

21st Nov and i'm 21 years old

Received a cross pendant on my birthday from my beloved parents :) :) I told God before, that I didn't want to get myself a cross pendant because I want my parents to buy for me..and they did.. without me asking or telling them what's in my heart :) Isn't God great? :)


I was blessed even before my birthday :) Received gifts from Joanne Tan the Pig and birthday dinner from Moy Wei Sern before my actual bday :) Aku sangat disayangi ramai..hahahaa thanks!


Yes, you can laugh at my dumb face!
Thanks Monica, Try, Bota, Abel, Derek, Audrey, Catherine, Tien Hui, Melanie and Michael who came to 'SURPRISE' me despite the busyness, tests, assignments, etc :) appreciate your time and effort!


Having said all these, I hope that today will be a day of giving rather than receiving. Maybe because I have been receiving all these years? hahaha, and I hope that my presence ON EARTH will truly be a blessing to others.. 21 years old is a very significant age because.. I can now register to vote and do something for this country! :) YAY!

I kept thinking and asking myself, "Did I say anything wrong? Did I say anything wrong?"
until I received a message from a friend and knew that she was encouraged.
That one person made me stop thinking if I said anything wrong..
but made me thank God that He uses my weaknesses to touch one life.

It reminded me on how weak I am but still God can use :) because He is God.
True enough, the question is not whether God can or cannot..
but whether you are willing or not?

Nothing is impossible

We have a choice.
We can continue living as before and be part of a generation that has lost its christian voice in the society.
One that did not make A STAND on anything.
One that did not make A DIFFERENCE by being concerned and by serving those not from our community.
One that will probably graduate with a paper as a reminder that we've studied there for a few years and NOTHING ELSE.

Or we can make a choice to SIT UP AND LISTEN.
Let us be SHAKEN.MOVED.AWAKEN.
To SEE and to COUNTER the state of brokenness surrounding us.

>:(

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....i miss my hair :(
Kenapalah aku nak memotongnya?
*ber-emo*




"No turning back. No turning back."

bless campus, bless others!

Had the opportunity to meet up with two OKU students in USM last week. One was during 'bless campus' week and another one was a random appointment with Mike's friend, Aziz. Spent time with them over a meal. I was observing them..how they talk, eat, walk,etc. Traveling from one place to another place is a problem, going out to eat is a problem... reading is a problem... I realised that when I begin to look at the things or people around me, my problems become so small. Maybe next time before I start complaining about my own problems, I should be counting my blessings.. and to know that I'm blessed to be a blessing to others.

To be able to bless others is a blessing in itself. -MC Jin-

:) baby reon

It's such a joy to see her grow..

from a small baby...


to a medium baby...


still medium baby...



to a fat baby

to a big fat baby


to bigger-fatter baby



to a bigger-fatter-but-still-botak baby


now.. botak-head-fatty Reon! :)
Reon: Ku che, I can now sit on my walker! :) I like to play the song 'Hakuna matada' by Timon and Pumba. I am not naughty, I am just active. :)

one thing i ask of you

My birthday is coming soon! haha, if (if, if..if) you're thinking about what to buy for me *perasan* hAHAHA, i'm here to tell you a good news! You don't have to get anything for me :) just need to help me to sign the petition letter to the Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dato’ Seri Najib Tun Razak, to take a stand against forced labor and human trafficking in Malaysia and to ask for a more strongly protected environment for refugees and asylum seekers.

I'm very fortunate and blessed. I have a shelter, education, food, clothes, car, etc.. so I don't really need anything anymore. But these people, they are not.. they have to fight for their basic needs. Let's do them a small favour.




Sign the petition letter!
Make a difference!

http://www.change.org/petitions/wake-up-malaysia-protect-refugees-and-asylum-seekers-from-forced-labor-and-human-trafficking

respond, not react

While I was worshiping God this morning in the sanctuary, I saw this little boy jumping around. But I didn't really bother because I was worshiping God, the whole congregation were worshiping God and I was standing right in front (because of dance). The music was quite loud too so I didn't really hear him. Then suddenly he came a little bit nearer to me and I can see from his lips and gestures, he said 'Shut up!' I was shocked.. but instead of reacting, I thank God, that I responded. Instead of dragging him out of the sanctuary (which is how I will react if i choose to react :p), I prayed that God will raise him up as a worship leader to lead the church into worship when he grows up!

Just music

it’s quite plain to see
without music I don’t know where I’d be
now I’m feelin’ like I’m finally free
but this ain’t just music to me

it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now
this ain’t just music

see me and Hiphop have quite a deep history
a relationship filled with much joy and misery
started out as strangers soon became friends
got exposed to rap music at the tender age of 10
maybe 11 but let’s not get technical
took me on a journey that I never expected to
embark on like tryin’ to see with blind eyes
no idea what was in store for me at all time flies
now I rise nearly 20 years later
pushin’ 30 my careers just goin’ into labor
what I’m tryin’ to say is no need to research
what you are witnessin’ right now is a rebirth
I don’t write songs just so I can write songs
cause the right song’s impact is quite strong
less random punchlines more great rhymes
I’m tryin’ to change lives the way God changed mine

it’s quite plain to see
without music I don’t know where I’d be
now I’m feelin’ like I’m finally free
but this ain’t just music to me
it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now
this ain’t just music

music can be a platform for self expression
how to overcome struggle learnin’ life lessons
even though to just fall back is so temptin’
I’m all about movin’ forward progression
reality is just somethin’ that you can’t deny
it can make you laugh and it can make you cry
the lies are often unseen by the naked eye
and they’ll sell you anything just to make you buy
quiet as keep we influenced heavily
overlookin’ lyrics busy caught up in the melody
next thing you know you naturally sing along
deep down you realize that something is wrong
blindfolded mind is bein’ molded
but it ain’t your fault the only thing promoted
on the regular contents flooded with nonsense
so the question remains can you hear your conscience?

it’s quite plain to see
without music I don’t know where I’d be
now I’m feelin’ like I’m finally free
but this ain’t just music to me
it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now
this ain’t just music

they say it’s just music but I know better
once upon a time I would listen to whatever
now I know never underestimate the power
it’s eatin’ up my soul I ain’t tryin’ to be devoured
it can lift me up
and it can bring me down
that’s why I’m turnin’ it up
I hope your listenin’ now

Well said, Jin! I mean, well rapped! :)

You are the reason

Keep running!

You know what..running this race is not easy. Many times, I fall again and again and again.. and again. But each time when I fall, I want to get up becoming stronger than before. It's not going to be easy.. but it's going to be worth it!


I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

pls vote, pls?

I can't understand this.
Many people who are eligible to vote are not registering as VOTERS.
Seriously if you want to see change, change begins with YOU.
Stop looking around and see what other people do, for goodness' sake!
Many people are saying 'It's okay..I'm just one of the many million voters'
Do you know that some people are dying to see change? because their life is not as easy as yours? because they may not have good education like you're having? even basic necessities like ELECTRICITY WHICH YOU're taking for GRANTED? CLEAN WATER SUPPLY? I MEAN, C.L.E.A.N water supply which you can get so easily whenever you turn on the tap.. some people are still using water which look like teh tarik! You have not seen, does not mean these people do not exist.

Can we, chinese, be more outward looking?
Please?
Stop being so cina.
and start being a MALAYSIAN.

MC Jin!

Jin's testimony




yay, MC Jin! :)

historical day

Before......




After.............

aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I seriously feel like rapunzel now. my hair is soooo long.

Gonna do something to it SOON.

He calls me friend!

"Hm.. Jesus, my friend?"
I always look to Him as my Father, my God, my Lord, my redeemer, my healer, and the list goes on.. but when was the last time, I actually talk to Him as my friend?
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend on the phone. She prayed for me and reminded me that even when nobody understands how I feel and what I'm going through.. Jesus knows. Jesus is my friend. Jesus is my friend! *ting*

Sometimes, even your closest friend
wouldn't understand what you're going through.
But this Jesus who laid down His life for you, He knows.
He calls me friend! :) :) :)

leaders' training retreat

Wanted to update on Leaders' Retreat Training long long long long time ago but didn't really have time, was very very busy ever since sem started.. I will try my best to recall what I've received :)

I was very blessed by Annette who came all the way to Penang to share during leaders' retreat sessions. :) It was one of the best leaders' training! :) She is very personal and 'deep' in a way, hahaa The things that she shared was so timely for me as well. You know, Ever since I entered into USM, I always believe that greater things have yet to come. I have big dreams :) because I know my God is a big God. But I think I have been very veryyy task-oriented. I want to do things, great things for God..so I push others to do the same without caring about how they feel or what they think. Maybe one most important thing from this retreat is that I'm slowly changing my focus..from being task-oriented to people-oriented. I am. still. living and learning! :)

VMS, vision and mission statement.

Excos, CGLs and ACGLs.

This game is about 'travelling eggs' from one point to another point..by catching and throwing to your group members. Some eggs were broken during the game..



These eggs are like our cell members. They have names. They are fragile. They are important.

:) we played many games actually.. but I lazy wanna upload all.hahaha

We are all many parts of one body.. with different functions.

This retreat reminded me on what God has told me before I joined the CF leadership team. Servanthood starts at home. God has to remind me many times hahaha aku ni stubborn and forgetful, and it's not easy :/ but I cannot be serving so much outside and not serving in the family. My family need Jesus. My light has to shine. Jesus demonstrated to me how servanthood is like.. it is about going down.. to the lowest level and wash each others' feet. This can be done only when we know our true identity in Christ, our unshakeable identity as Sons and Daughters of the Most High.